How to help your kids through a divorce

Divorce isn’t easy for anyone, but children can take it particularly hard. Many children don’t understand what is happening and many more feel the divorce is somehow their fault. Here’s how you can help your kids through a divorce:

Communicate Openly about Divorce

The divorce should be explained in simple and straightforward terms. If at all possible, both parents should be part of the conversation. Your language should be tailored to the age of your children as well. So for instance, when speaking with very small children you might say something like, “Mommy and Daddy yell at each other a lot and everyone is feeling unhappy. So we have decided to live in different houses. But we love you very much and we will both take care of you still.”

Keep Things Predictable with Divorce

Children do best when their environments are familiar and predictable. Do your best to provide the structure and routine your children have become used to.

Explain How Things Will Work

Many children will panic at the news, they will not understand how both Mommy and Daddy will both remain in their lives. So clearly explain how things will work going forward. “You will spend weekends with Daddy, and the rest of the time you will be here with Mommy.” You may also want to work on creating a calendar together so your child has something to refer to.

Never Speak Badly About Your Ex

Your ex may have caused you a lot of emotional pain in your relationship, but to your child, that ex is their mommy or daddy. Never speak unkindly about your child’s other parent.

Encourage Your Children to Speak Honestly About Their Emotions

Your child will sense that YOU are dealing with a lot of emotions, and, wanting to protect you, he or she will keep their emotions to themselves. It’s important that you encourage your children to talk to you candidly about how they are feeling. Let them know they can come to you at any time and talk to you whether they are scared, sad, or angry.

Seek Guidance

Everyone’s situation is different – and all children are different. Some may take the news better than others. You may find that your child is suffering more than you originally expected. If this happens, it may be a good idea to seek help from a trained family therapist, who can give all of you helpful coping tools.

One of our Denver therapists can help your kids through a divorce. You don’t have to do it all on your own. Please reach out to Denver Mental Health Collective. We would love to help!

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Note: We do not accept any of the following: Medicare, or TriCare at the current moment.
By opting into SMS from a web form or other medium, you are agreeing to receive SMS messages from Denver Mental Health Collective. This may include SMS messages for appointment scheduling, appointment reminders, post-visit instructions, and billing notifications. Message frequency varies. Message and data rates may apply. See privacy policy at Hello@denvermhc.com. You may opt out of text messages at any time.